Bringing Emotional Intimacy Back in Your Relationship

by InnerHour on Wed, 16 Nov 2016
 3 comments
2106 views

An awkward silence hangs in the air during dinner time. You can’t remember the last time you wanted to share exciting news with your partner. The two of you are rarely sexually intimate with each other.

If you’ve been sensing this growing disconnect from your partner, chances are that the reserves of emotional intimacy in your relationship are rapidly dwindling. If you’re longing for that initial closeness and connection you had at the beginning, read on to know how you can breathe new life into your relationship.

What is Emotional Intimacy?

Vital to our well-being, emotional intimacy involves the ability to express your thoughts and feelings in an honest and open manner without the fear of judgment or criticism. Since our expectations for emotional intimacy are a result of our experiences with family and peers, differing expectations are likely to result in conflicts.  While a loss of emotional intimacy might be distressing for couples, the good news is that it can be restored. All it takes is two patient and understanding people who are willing to work towards the rebuilding of their relationship.

Where Do I Start?

If you’re struggling to find a starting point for this road to restoration, the answer is simple. Communication is key! Advocated by numerous relationship experts for a reason, research has shown that effective communication leads to longer lasting relationships (Wiley, 2006). A simple conversation summarising the details of your day or sharing something that’s bothering you in a calm, non-aggressive manner can do wonders for your relationship (Driver and Gottman 2004).

Empathy is Important

It doesn’t stop at communication. It’s important to create a safe, space for your partner to feel comfortable enough to share their innermost desires and worries with you without feeling judged (Wiley, 2006). Empathy involves being understanding and accepting and it allows your partner to be unafraid of being themselves around you.

Dealing with Conflict

It is natural to experience conflict at various stages of your relationship and as you try to reconnect with your partner. In the middle of heated arguments, you might feel the need to withdraw from your partner by staying silent or suppressing your emotions. However this might lead to an emotional disconnect and reduced feelings of intimacy (Peters, 2016). Give each other the opportunity to discuss feelings regarding the conflict to allow for the creation of middle ground.  You both may not always agree with each other but understanding and accepting differences in opinions is as good as resolving the fight (Harris, 2012).

Make Spontaneity Your Best Friend

Research has shown that the daily drudgery and monotony of life can cause a growing dissatisfaction within relationships (Tsapelas; Orbuch, 2009). If you feel that this is the case with you and your partner, it is time to be a little spontaneous. In order to maintain that element of surprise, you could plan a spontaneous trip, a surprise dinner or going out and doing something that’s always been on your relationship bucket list.

Keep the Chemistry Alive

Physical intimacy and sexual satisfaction, in particular plays a key role in maintaining a healthy relationship (Young & Luquis, 1998). Taking time to understand and satisfy each other’s physical and sexual needs will go a long way in restoring intimacy and enhancing your connection with each other.

Talk to an Expert

Try talking to your partner and gauging their receptiveness to seeking help with resolving any intimacy issues you might have. Psychotherapy has proven to be an effective way of dealing with a variety of issues and the growing body of research on relationships has yielded helpful tools like Emotional Focused Couple Therapy (ECFT) which has been shown to increase emotional as well as physical and psychological intimacy (Soltani, 2013). 

References

Driver, J. L., & Gottman, J. M. (2004). Daily marital interactions and positive affect during marital conflict among newlywed couples. Family Process, 43(3), 301–314.

Soltani, A., Molazadeh, J., Mahmoodi, M., & Hosseini, S. (2013). A Study on the Effectiveness of Emotional Focused Couple Therapy on Intimacy of Couples. Procedia - Social and Behavioral Sciences, 82, 461–465.

Tsapelas, I., Aron, A., & Orbuch, T. (2009). Marital boredom now predicts less satisfaction 9 Years later: Short report. Psychological Science, 20(5), 543–545. Click here to view.

Wiley, A. (2006). Connecting as a couple: Communication skills for healthy relationships. The Forum for Family and Consumer Issues (FFCI).


If you feel that your relationship with your partner is losing its spark, please don't hesitate to reach out to us. An InnerHour therapist will be able to help you.






ALL COMMENTS


  • How to have your husband back home with your kids again I'm a lady with 2 kids i am from Houston Texa, my husband leave me and his 2 kids for about 10 months i go through a lot of pain i do all i could to make him returned to me and to his kids but nothing works out. it was really a stressful period to me because i could dint go through the heartbreak. i was told to get a love spell doctor contacted to help me out which i did i was lucky to get DR.PEPOKO Contact who was able to help me out, he cast up a love spell that brought back my husband to me and to his kids thanks so much DR. PEPOKO I really appreciate what you have done for me. here he his contact if you may required for it by solving your relationship email. Pepokospiritemple@gmail.com call whatssap +2348156148821 Here is also Dr. PEPOKO website you can visit it yourself www.pepokospiritemple.blogspot.com

    Anthony Victoria 2020-10-27T23:09:57.222Z

  • effective and powerfull love spell to return ex lover contact dr jumba Call/WhatsApp him:  +19085174108    my fiance broke up with me last week i was so sad I changed completely, I wasn't eating and i wasn't talking to anybody, I cried a lot,I was so depressed and stressed out that I was scared I'm going to end up in the hospital because of all the stress and depression until one day i search online on getting love tips because I Love & care about him deeply and I just want us to be together as a couple again and I want us to last forever then i found a powerful spell caster Called dr jumba that he solved so many relationship problem then dr jumba told me he will come back to me between 24hrs after he cast spell on him never believe it until my finance called me on the phone and told me he want us to come back and live happily together forever , Am so happy now that dr jumba help me bring my finance back to me. Thanks so much dr jumba  he can also help you Email him via:  wiccalovespelltools@gmail.com  or Call/WhatsApp him:  +19085174108   : blog : https://wiccaspelltools.blogspot.com/   WEBSITE:  drjumbaspellhome.wordpress.com   

    joan michael 2020-09-15T14:09:18.689Z

  • LOVE SPELL FOR BROKEN RELATIONSHIP AND MARRIAGE WHATSAPP +2349066410185 am here to share with you my life experience on how a great man called Dr gbojie saved me and my marriage.I have been Married & Barren for for 5 years i had no child. i have never been pregnant i was a subject of laughter from my Friends & neighbors, i almost lost my marriage because of this issue.i was so confused that i did not know what to do until i came across this great Dr online and i contacted him at once i was scared weather it was going to work because i never believed things like this before, so i decided to give it a try and i did all what Dr gbojie asked of me and today to my greatest surprise i took in the first time and i gave birth to a bouncing baby boy and now my marriage that was about crashing before is now restored. my husband now love and want me better, Am so happy for everything that have been happening in my life since i met this Dr gbojie .I want to tell all the women/men out there who have a similar situation like mine,that the world is not over YET they should dry up their tears and contact this great man and their problem will be gone or are you also having other problems you can also contact gbojiespiritualtemple@gmail.com His spells is for a better life OR call his number +2349066410185 website : http://gbojiespiritualtemple.website2.me blog : https://brokenmindmend.blogspot.com

    erwen wilson 2019-06-22T12:51:55.662Z

These are difficult times and InnerHour is here for you. If you are looking for any kind of mental health support - for yourself, your loved ones, or your workplace - don't hesitate to reach out to us. We're available on +912071171501 and support@theinnerhour.com.